Alas it came at a deafening price — Adele’s ‘Hello’ was shut out entirely!

I’m still going to see it but on bit torrent.

Deadspin, you guilt-tripped them into showing a bit of the medal ceremony at the end of Bob Costas’ segment. Congrats!!

Then this moment isn’t for you.

It’s relevant because she’s the first African-American to win gold in swimming, a sport in which black athletes are not traditionally known for. In fact, there are actual stereotypes about black people and swimming, stereotypes that are now effectively eradicated.

Who thought it a wise idea to have Meredith Vieira and Hoda Kotb provide incisive running commentary?

What expensive graphics! I wonder, did they use QuarkXPress 1997 or 1998?

He’s creepy and he’s kooky, mysterious and spooky, that’s for sure.

OOOOF.

This actually makes me feel bad for Melania. No way she was actually aware of this. Donald probably gave her the speech in its entirety. And now we all get to literally compare her with Michelle, one of the best First Ladies in history.

Viable = has more votes? Just a thought.

To be fair, the theme is rather abstract and to go hardcore metal-and-machinery isn’t quite on point. The winner will be the individual who goes Gilded Age meets Daft Punk.

a nuclear submarine crashing into a topaz mermaid city.

Actually I would prefer the Cabinet be filled with the most qualified people, meaning that probably 75% would actually be women.

I’m so turned on right now.

I feel you have to have a lot of confidence as a simple cosmetic to paint yourself upon the royal queen. What brave lipstick shade will dare cling to her fierce pouty lips?

Banning Sony means you’re prepared to ban yourself from the music of Adele and Beyonce. Are you prepared to make that sacrifice?

Well I like the job she’s done more than the one her husband’s doing, so I have no problem in this particular case.

I will bet $100 Obama goes to the State of the Union address wearing traditional Kenyan tribal garb just to fuck with the Republicans.