Just get a $30 attachment. It’s fine. You don’t need warm water for your butthole, so don’t get that one. It’s fine. You just need a thingy in the toilet that spritzes your butthole with some water. It’s fine. You’ll love it, and you’ll never go back to solely using TP.

shouldn’t of

It’s not a reductive “both sides” argument—I specifically said that this is not exclusively a Republican problem. The majority of the obstacles lie within the GOP, yes, but there’s room for nuance in these discussions, you know; knee-jerking with “fuck you” and “shut the fuck up” just displays your aggressive…

Bro, it’s not exclusively a “Republican” problem. Democrat haven’t done shit, either. Point me to a tangible action party leaders have taken since Newtown. And before you say it, no, a “sit-in” doesn’t count, because that shit was strictly theater.

I love how during the election, Jezebel was a pro-Clinton site (in general). Now, they publish a couple of articles that cast her in a negative light and it’s “Jezebel just fucking hates Hillary. They’ll never giver her a fair shake.”

I didn’t say that it’s “never” the voters’ fault, but we all need to use a critical eye and examine all the factors in elections such as this one. Racism, religious zealotry, and general misogyny are powerful, but they aren’t all-powerful. Speak to the electorate’s actual needs and they will respond — Danica Roem…

This is a dangerous line of thinking that we should all stay away from. The 2016 election and this joke of a race in Alabama is not indicative of how “terrible” people are, it’s indicative of how terrible the Democratic candidate is. If you can’t muster enough interest or votes when the person you’re running against…

I think the more obvious clues would have been the phrases, “Eat Whoever You Want” and “Get the Bodies You’ve Always Wanted”.

This is the core mechanic for The Swapper.

Reminds me of Out of this World. This is a good thing.

It’s actually been around for a long time, at least in New York. I’ve know people from the area who say “on accident” for their whole lives. Shows up in old episodes of Seinfeld, too. No big deal, man - regional differences are a part of any language.

Plus, Bernie’s new proposals - the ones he released two hours before last Saturday’s debate - that they admitted raises taxes on everybody isn’t a winner either.

I’ve been watching this with my daughter for a couple of weeks now, and I’m super-happy that she loves it. Just the other day, I realized that each character’s gem location defines their thought processes and core personalities:

No mention of him in Dreamscape? Dude gave me nightmares after turning into a snake-man.

For real. I’m pretty experienced when it comes to weed, but a couple of years ago I ate a pot brownie, and after about 45 minutes I had another one. I don’t know what I was thinking (I was tired after a road trip, hungry, a little sleepy), but that second brownie kicked me over the line into batshit insane high. My…

This movie. God damn, this movie. I’m a child of divorce, and what happens when the kid finds his mother about halfway through the movie was always my worst nightmare. I cried big, heaving sobs, feeling the kid’s pain; but by the end of the film, my weeping was joyous, my heart full and high in my throat. Excellent,…

I would heartily recommend a good chiropractor. My wife and I were rear-ended by a drunk driver doing 110mph on a highway; we careened across three lanes of traffic, slammed head-first into a jersey wall, and spun to a halt. We started seeing a chiropractor the next day, almost every day for the next two months, with…

I understand all the people wanting to highlight Secretary as a better alternative to 50, but nobody's talking about how it's a total ripoff. Edward Gray is Christian Grey (who was originally vampire Edward); meek woman, freshly exposed to the world, falls under the sway of a rough-edged, demanding businessman who has…

Why, in all of the conversations about this dog of a movie, is nobody talking about the glaring similarities between 50 Shades of Grey and Secretary, the truly excellent Maggie Gyllenhall/James Spader movie from 2002? Spader's character is even named - get this - Edward Gray. Are you kidding me, EL James? 50 Shades is…