I need this. Also, probably some zantac.

I hear hammocks are all the rage in Provincetown this year ;)

*giggles*

God fucking damn it. Being a Pats fan is reeeeeally fucking hard sometimes.

**Mooshi Mooshi**

So...is this a fireable offense or what?

Good on you for fact checking and keeping him honest. A+ Kinja.

“Radio broadcast”

He will not rise to stardom until after he gets cut for the 3rd time.

Obtuse 2:22 reference.

The hottest of takes.

Misread as “victim of one of the greatest dRunks of all time.” now I’m all bummed out. :/

Next time you want to write about her...don’t. It’s the only way she’ll go away.

This take is so hot even Tinactin couldn’t cool it off...

Can’t argue too much with Boston. But they need to stop trying to fuck with the Celtics’ jerseys asap.

*Immediately follows on Twitter.

Kid has the makings of a star in Soccer! Who says the Beautiful Game has no future in this country?!

I’m ricing my eyebrows, still don’t see it.