Oscar-winner Jennifer Hudson and two-time guy who showed up to the awards ceremony totally wasted on Smirnoff Ice Adam Sandler.

I'm a 78-year-old woman whose grandson is out of town, so I'm having a little trouble with the internet today.

That sounds about right. I personally might go all the way to 1999.

Do we need to stage a reverse-intervention? "psib, your lack of drinking is starting to worry us. Will you please look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that you DESERVE to go to a bar and get annihilated?"

We are only on the very rattiest fringes, if that.

My review of Punch Drunk Love begins with me crossing my arms and saying, "Look, I GET it. I mean, don't think I don't GET what you're doing here, but…"

I liked Happy Gilmore, but the Waterboy was the exact moment of "All right, that's enough" for me. An opening-day realization.

EDIT: Erased comment. Meant to post this in response to EgoDeath below.

Round these parts, I've noticed a real knee-jerk reaction like, "Oh gross, a 90s radio-friendly alt-rock band," which I think is unfair. That stuff was merely the inoffensive 90s equivalent of 70s AM pop, which we as a society have come around to admitting we like again.

"3 AM" or GFTO!

DON'T TREAD ON ME

My account has obviously been censored due to the controversial beliefs* I've shared on the AV Club.

ON THE ONE HAND: Twitter is a free, non-mandatory, non-essential service that doesn't owe anybody anything, much less a contender for "the worst sort of human" like Milo.

The Constitution means whatever we want it to mean in the moment, and—oh, wait, I thought I was speaking at the RNC, pardon me…

"People can say whatever they want without any fear of consequence whatsoever."

I'm not tired! I'm just drunk!