Please make celebrity memoir reviews a regular feature on this site! (I nominate Vanna White's for the next installment) ((Yes, I read it when I was in high school)).

It takes years to master, and though it does have its rewards, the reward I seek is not a hot dog. Moose does tricks; I memorize lines, say words, even walk around and stuff. But I don't need a trainer standing off-camera, gesticulating wildly and waving around a piece of meat, to know where I'm supposed to look.

My friend's 9 year old is dying of a brain tumor - as in, any day/hour right now. There are maybe 10 other kids in the world with his tumor, so no roadmap for treatment. They have watched so many fellow cancer families lose their children over the past six and a half years. It's so disheartening. The things that make…

You're both thinking too small. Smoke for the cancer. Drink for the cirrhosis. Eat for the heart disease. Fuck for the AIDs. And then, if none of that works, you can develop a heroin habit, and OD just before you run out of money (or when you start to suffer from the dementia, whichever happens first).

I got out of the greys without an avatar before the last big overhaul of Gawker. Since then, I've had an avatar —plus comments that have had 100s of stars. This is a special occasion avatar, but I'm thinking of changing it:

I don't understand how you could scientifically measure a flaccid dick, based on my super scientific observations and also an episode of Seinfeld, that measurement varies widely.

Porn has done basically everybody a huge disservice, IMO. Now that women are supposed to have essentially NO inner labia (and if they do, "vaginal rejuvenation" and "labiaplasty" only cost a couple grand). Plus, the shaving of all pubes among both sexes, ew.

Is it not normal to have a perfectly quaffed jewfro over your junk?

Yeah, but few Penthouse letters contain the words "she gasped at my throbbing medium flesh sword."

Aren't ALL of us notorious for being assholes? (I'm saying this presumptively. I just took the bar yesterday).

Ask him about knives. He will talk about sharp things for days.

Maybe, but he doesn't know shit about pizza toppings!

THIS is the reason I love this blog. It's irreverent, funny, and relatable to everyone. You're also not affraid to acll out bullshit when it's needed! Congratulations on your first year! I look forward to many more!

I work in the food industry and have had the opportunity to meet many of these "celebrity chefs." There have been some that have been an absolute delight, and when I've thanked them for great meals at their restaurants, they were very humble and appreciative of my comments (two in particular stand out, Tyler Florence…