I gave on humanity a while back, so I have to enjoy the little pleasures where I can find them. Ketchup hasn’t let me down yet.

I’m sorry, I thought you were serious about ketchup.

For the longest time I thought banana ketchup was tomato ketchup with added bananas. It was just in the last month or so I that I learned it was ketchup made wholly from bananas, and I’ve been getting it on everything from our local Filipino place for years.

HEB ships nationwide! That one fact makes the Midwest bearable for this displaced Texan.

I know it’s supposed to be based on the Great Wave, but I can’t unsee the Monterey Bay Aquarium logo

You can’t expect to wield delicious frozen treats just ‘cuz some watery tart threw a Blizzard at you!

Let’s let Zefram Cochrane weigh in.

That’s interesting, since I’m the opposite. I like Duke’s since I don’t think it’s as sweet as other mayos and more tangy. And I seem to recall that one of their historical marketing points was that Duke’s didn’t have added sugar, but I don’t have an ingredients list in front of me to confirm that.

You are entitled to your preference of Miracle Whip as your sandwich spread/ dipping condiment of choice. But do not, for one second, equate it to mayonnaise. Completely separate animals.

My dear, naive friend, I cannot tell you how wrong you are.

Also, the ranch must be Hidden Valley and the mayo must be Duke’s.

My quality of life significantly improved after they started selling this ambrosia at my grocery store:

I don’t know a whole lot about accounting, tax law, or business, so this may be a dumb question, but how does $3.56 billion in revenue minus $2.85 billion in spending equal “nonprofit”?

27 feet?

So regarding the spending bill expiration on February 8, is it better to get taxes in ASAP, and potentially have them sitting on some IRS staffer’s desk (or server) in a shuttered office, or is it better to wait and see if and when the IRS is actually going to be working this tax season?

Serious question from a legal ignoramus: Does the judge’s penchant for being so- I don’t know the best way to put it... Outspoken? Pointed? Hyperbolic?- through these whole proceedings give any ammunition for the defense in an appeal? Because fuck this whole system if this piece of shit can get a reduced sentence…

Except for the part about his aides acting in good faith.

When multiple cars reach a 4-way stop at the same time, the driver on the right has the right of way.

There’s an intersection by my house where a strangely large number of people have the opposite problem. That is, people turning right routinely yield for left turners. And it’s not a factor of the left turners being assholes and barrelling through. Both my wife and I have been waiting to make an unprotected left and…

the lines were painted in a time of high humidity in southeast Alaska, where Ketchikan is located.