Answer: Drink straight from the bottle.

How to Keep Your Lipstick Off Your Wine Glass:

Drink Straight From the Bottle.

This lovely man came in every day, I burned his bread, and he left a $5.00 tip on a $4.00 meal. One time, he heard me (quietly, I swear) talking to another waitress about how I couldn’t afford to have my other cat spayed yet, and when he left, I found $100.00 under the cup for my cat.

“Was that so hard?!”

I think they should update the graphic to include average distance as well. Living in the Baltimore/DC metro area, I can tell you that a 35 minute commute in this area is probably a 1 mile drive. I would bet most people commute close to 45 minutes and travel about 15-30 miles one way.

And that’s the time I watched a group of 8 people spread grape jelly all over two pizzas and happily eat them.

I read every one of these - and there were definitely some gems - but I just flat-out can’t get over putting jelly on pizza, let alone asking for it like it’s not completely insane.

I believe you forgot the step where you get free food samples.

I think the single worst quality a female person can display is refusing to appreciate the difference between high def and regular def on my new TV.

No, pretty sure that is 66.

And, DC metro area is at the top of this list, because OF COURSE IT IS.
I like very little about living in northern Virginia.

What if we skip the water and poach them in a pot full of butter?

Theresa May is basically real life Dolores Umbridge. I’m not saying in this case her actions were right or wrong, but she does seem to take pleasure in passing down acts that she knows will cause annoyance or upset. Just thought I’d provide some context for any Jezzies unfamiliar with her.

I’m growing more and more uncomfortable with the seemingly increasing progressive notion that people’s backgrounds must be fully delved into and punishment doled out for things they did years and years ago, retroactive, permanent punishment. It strikes me as so anti-liberal.

First off, the font is waaaaay too big. I’m running 1920 x 1080 resolution, and the font size is roughly equivalent to a 19pt font.

Poor font choice — on my monitor, the lower case “e” looks very much like the lower case “c”, and the capital “A” doesn’t have a cross-bar. Readability is much worse than it was before.

TOO

I like most of the changes, except the font. The font is terrible. Go with something sans serif. And when are you guys gonna add a “night mode” theme option? White makes me feel like I’m looking at a flashlight when browsing at 3 am.

I think you're missing the biggest fundamental point of all why you should never buy gap insurance, at all, from anyone. You should never put yourself in the situation to be underwater on a car. If you're not underwater on a car, you'll never need gap insurance. If you can't afford enough down payment to beat the…