Your cynicism has been noted. Hope you got the satisfaction you were looking for.

You mean ... it was a nice torch.

the fact that passersby fist-bumped the blowtorch guy instead of calling the police

So weird—I heard she’ll be 45 in January.

I’d like some kind of meme as evidence, you put a photo behind that text and I’all believe you 100%!

For him to understand that shirt, he has to press up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, Start.

I’d be shocked if he actually sued — he’d have to talk about his behavior under oath, and he’d open himself up to a lot more accusations. He’s just performing for his base and trying to intimidate his other victims so they’ll be too scared to come forward.

I miss them already you guys

I was once pregnant with a third kid who would have been a total accident (thanks BEER), and I kind of thought it was hilarious until I miscarried. My brother was an accident. My younger cousin was an accident. We all know these things. Nobody seems damaged by this knowledge. I think it’s a bigger insult to be the…

Go outside, and tune into nature. Because you are part of nature, too.

I actually met Jonah Peretti once at some tech thing. He asked me if I was waiting in line and I said no and he said thanks.

Shot. The man said shot. He wants her to die. And I will bet you $20 that if you ask him exactly why she deserves to be shot he won’t even know. That’s the infuriating part. They have no idea what crime to even accuse her of.

Michelle Obama gives a speech with such honesty that Republican and Democrat alike are floored for days and can do nothing but slow clap.

Melania gives an interview where she dutifully repeats the talking points that imply her husband was a 59 year old ‘boy’ subject to peer pressure, and there are protests in the…

41% of Americans are idiots who can’t read the writing on the wall that even more Americans really do fucking hate this guy that much that they won’t let him win.

Is it horrible and reprehensible that I immediately went to ‘false flag’ on this?

Trump will next criticize Clinton’s ill-fitting suits, her inexplicably orange skin, her tendency to loom over people, and her terrible comb-over. “I hear she just reaches out and grabs people by the pussy, is what I hear” reports Trump.

“If Billy had been passive or responded ‘Shut the f— up’ to Trump, Billy would have been out of a job the next day,”

play nice or git reckt

Say what you will- this latest scary clown craze definitely beats out planking and the Macarena.