That’s an umbellic cord Mr. Simpson.  It’s a girl

It's a boy, and WHAT A BOY! 

Just shoot the futures grandmothers a text message. Unceremoniously.

Pointless death as a result of one of the more pointless trends of my lifetime.

Same 

I had a friend in college who was 6'9", he always walked with a hunch. Sitting down in a living room? Always drew he knees up to his chest. I felt bad for the guy, he clearly wanted to be smaller.

To Henry Cavill: Welcome to the world of literally every woman.

Can we start a new thing? Instead of “the Simpsons already did it” can we say “the Onion already did it”?

This is two vaguely pro-theft posts in the last couple of days.

OK, but stats are not everything: correlation not causality. The reason it is generally not safer to own a gun is many people who own guns are far to casual about it and end up getting drunk and shooting themselves or someone else by accident.

So it drew a dick, then got stuck in the mouth of the Suez and there aren’t enough seamen with enough thrust to push it out. And the longer it’s in there, the more screwed we are...

As this started to unfurl, I had three observations:

A Goth Club....for adults....all-black dress code.....expensive membership dues.

Love & respect to The Isley Brothers but this ain’t close. Sorry EWF all day and forever

She was actually one of the healthier ones on the Osbournes.

Ozzy Osbourne Keep Your Goddamn Mouth Shut Challenge 2021

I cosign every single word of this. 

Luanne hit it big with the Manger Babies again and they moved to a suburb of Houston, where they’re living a quiet life. That’s all I’ll hear on the matter.

Yeah, there’s no way Dale gets out of bed for a conspiracy theory as pitiful as Q.  That’s beginner level shit.

I remember when I was more active on Facebook and followed King there. He said that his council of advisors told him that Hillary Clinton was planning to have him killed. (I will always regret not screenshotting that.)