.

I am a Padres fan trying to make sense of this deal. I feel SD could have gotten more.

Tribe also get Franmil Reyes who is probably the most important part of this deal. 

Starred for accuracy. My gf’s parents live a few miles past Schaumburg and is EXACTLY the kind of place where people actively try to snitch on each other. Meanwhile, I think I could make it as far as like Beverly if I hug the river and keep to side streets

I think I could get further in the city naked rather than in the suburbs. There’s like 30 people shot in Chicago every day, car jackings, muggings, other naked crazies furiously swinging their dick back and forth so it hits their thighs making a slapping noise, for them to worry about you. You get a somewhat crowded…

That’s gotta be humiliating to look that dumb in front of hundreds of people.

A bear in the closet. And during pride month?!?!

This wasn’t no robbery.

I can’t track it down online, but Jose Fernandez had my all-time favorite version of this: somebody hit a colossal bomb off him one time, and after the inning ended he was back in the dugout excitedly demonstrating what a monster shot it was. He would laugh after striking out, too. What a joyful guy he was.

The Diamondbacks wish they had this type of a rotation.

“Sir, we’re losing altitude!” “Engage bottom rotor!”

I sincerely hope this woman is ok. Now. With that out of the way, I cannot stop laughing hysterically and my bartender says I have no soul. I imagine the lady is in there thinking “this is it. I’m going out in a whirl of adrenaline and blood to the head. I should have stayed in the goddam desert.”

JESUS CHRIST ON A CRACKER!!!!!  How the hell was that not fatal???  What kind of g-force was that poor lady contending with?  She had to have lost consciousness fairly early in the, uh, spin cycle.

It’s gonna turn out he fractured three ankles

against the White Sox

And then you remembered Trump would never do that

Jesus, Tiger looks old in that picture. At first glance I thought Trump had honored one of the Tuskegee Airmen.

I’m a lawyer and it is absolutely imperative that this video be released to the public, as it is a crime and the woman performing this humiliating act is essentially a sex slave.  Only her face should be blurred as his reputation is smeared for the entire world to witness.  Wait, lawyer isn’t the right word.  Voyeur,…

America the Beautiful is a nice song because it’s about the natural wonder of the country, as opposed to a song celebrating a military victory.

“Anyway, “God Bless America” sucks in general and should be replaced with a better song.”