Ask this guy about California land rights...

The ball was coming out before he got his second foot down. Unbelievably bad call

sXeGandalf

Barber: What’ll it be today?

Fuck the Cowboys. Fuck the Packers. Double-fuck Dez Bryant.

$7?! That’s what a 12-pack costs around these parts

Amber Rose appears to be a Rhino with her horn poached. I’m not listening to a rhino when it comes to my dental hygiene since rhinos don’t even have front teeth.

Fucking Pineapple?! Just, why? The hot-dog pizza was not given a fair shake. Filed under PONCE ORDERS PINEAPPLE PIZZA

Wiseau approves...

Not fair. Colon's noggin is about 50x the allowable MLB barrel diameter. His batting helmet could double as the punch bowl at a high school prom