Next you’ll be telling us to try it without taking every scrap we can find and turning it into giant mechanical devices with spinning flamethrower penises

Unless you’re into ugly dudes with gross facial hair and ferrets for eyebrows

There was definitely some choice fanart of Big Sexy Ganondorf after the first trailer simply on the basis of what appeared to be the dry bony desiccated husk of Ganondorf clearly meant there had to be a buff hot rehydrated Ganondorf to follow

Yes, you’re the only one. You, the Chosen Unhorny shall lead us out of Bonk Jail.

Hands up everyone who’s shocked by this announcement

By that logic, different NFL teams are just palette swapped football players

Haha you absolutely have no idea about anything

And you got mad about it

Didn’t Nic Cage already do one of these?

Man it’s been a wild ride for a comic property that got really Christian during the 70s

Tingle’s sexuality could not possibly fit into one of your narrowly defined boxes

Press 1 to cope, press 2 to seethe, press 3 to mald, or hold the line to piss your pants like a frustrated baby

Which one is which?

More in the Mafia sense of the word “Hit”

The same reason Star Trek Online has survived going FTP: a guaranteed userbase of fans who still want to Be In That Universe

Tears (Because) Of (All The Giant Dicks Littered Around) The Kingdom

gendered insults, the sign of one who is totally not mad, don’t put it on the paper that they got mad

Why are you asking for evidence of a theory that’s not even the focus of the article

You should probably avoid the internet then

I’m saying Dan Brown’s a bad writer