I can't believe this is the No. 2 pun thread here.

I hope someone is keeping a log of all these offenses.

Well, at least the show will give me a chance to test out my latest invention: a sarcasm detector.

This is such a petty and stupid thread I want to keep it going. I engaged in intercourse with your spouse or significant other!

Do you have anything by Ludlum?

Wait, are we still doing phrasing?

*puts on a shins album, stares out the window onto a dreary morn, pondering existence*

You must have been disappointed in Schindlers List. Their rapping granny didn't appear until hour 2.

The rabbit cacked him last night.

I do, and stop calling me Laverne.

recips neas

Boy are you guys a gas.

You forget about Mike.

You are all on thin ice with this thread.

Think I'm just gonna poach someone's earlier, better pun.

Chris Brown is awful. Agreed. But hasn't Anthony Anderson been accused of rape, twice? Was he found not guilty or did he settle?

I would be, ahem, engaged

Hey, you know these threads are dog eat dog.

Damnit, I went through the this whole thread looking for this joke and you beat me to it. Hope you catch feline cancerAIDS

Her?