“Texas’s state bird is a goose that just got shot by an armed, uninsured child.”

Our local Chick fil-A is owned by a fairly liberal family who live according to what Jesus actually said and not what the religious right says - they give money to a myriad of causes including a local shelter for LGBT youth so I get to eat my chicken sandwich and not hate myself.

Yeah, fuck that guy. Good for you

I’m proud to serve

This makes me irrationally angry.

I have narcolepsy and when I first started meds (military grade stimulants) for it my friends and family started getting the most random, long-winded, unwanted emails and texts from me. Thankfully that side effect has subsided because no one deserves 3500 words from me about the reason my dog’s farts were always…

Grey sweat shorts?

I’m both repulsed and intrigued by the idea of reading this book. I think my intrigued side will win.

And his spawn. They are the greatest, most attractive, good brain havin’ children to ever be birthed.

Yes! What I’ve needed to feel like Trump is a man of the people who would be a great president is seeing his wooden trophy wife on the campaign trail.

I blame sitcoms for this line of thinking. Kevin James and the lesser Belushi ruined so many men...

Unborn lives matter!

Here’s the thing: when it comes down to it what Scientologists believe and what other religions believe are equally crazy. All religions are bizarre and, IMHO, dangerous.

I would just freeze up and then Tom Cruise style run away. This woman has huge (metaphorical) balls.

Good on the Satanists!

I love this site!

Oh goody! Two of my least favorite things (Halloween and assholes with drones) together for one night only!

Self tanner and hairspray

West is a hyperbolic hothead, I hate that we care what he says.

Anyone else get the feeling that he really wants to bang her?