Let’s all just assume...

Well except that she never did that. Fans used to ask her about Dumbledore’s past and if he ever had a girlfriend. Then one day she finally came out at the question with (roughly)“No, because he was gay. His relationship with Grindelwald was deeper than just friends but ultimately he wound up fighting him in battle.”.…

“I’m less interested in the sexual side than I am in the sense of the emotions they felt for each other, which ultimately is the most fascinating thing about all human relationships,” which, okay, J.K..

Who cares? I want to know about Willy Wonka’s sexual preferences. They had to be super freaky. Honestly, out of all children’s literature, the characters in Harry Potter probably have the least interesting sexual lives.

Like Horton, he heard a Who, but did he fuck a What?

Did the Lorax fuck trees?

How about James and…

I don’t have a mom anymore. She died last Saturday morning after only two days in hospice. Over the past four months we made 7 trips to Houston (14 flights), 7 rental cars, 9 airbnbs...I worked so hard to get her top notch treatment and it just wasn’t enough. If you have a great mom - like I did - call her and tell…

Macy isn’t being tossed aside because, unless there’s some new details I am not aware of, Macy hasn’t been actually charged with anything yet. His wife has been arrested, but they don’t have any evidence that Macy himself was involved at the moment.

They should have been taken away the minute she decided to bring the piece of shit man who molested her older daughter back around after getting out of prison. I mean, jfc. Clearly she cares much more about herself than any of her children’s wellbeing. 

Geno Doak sounds like the name of an alien in a Star Wars movie. 

“I don’t want you to get sticked or nothing.”

Someone take her children away!!!!  This woman is beyond a piece of shit. 

I just go for broke. What I’m after on my responses is a combo so bad they’re afraid to pick it. When I can get “I wanna pick it, man, but I just can’t,” that’s my prize.

Well I’m always looking for creative new ways to tell the world I’m an unfun prick who hates other people’s fun so this seems like a great thing to donate money to!

Hope they at least sent her a lovely farewell card. 

Michael Rapaport is 48 looks 63 and acts 16. If you keep literally every aspect of him exactly the same there’s hotter men every place anywhere. 

Dude. Adam West was the best Batman. Have you never heard of the Batusi?

If I had Leo’s money I’d sure as fuck be buying dinosaur bones.

I finally gave in and watched the video for “thank you, next,” just to see all the pop culture references. This was also the first time I heard the song, and I just found it so incredibly blah. I kept waiting for it to kick in in some way but the whole thing felt like a terribly slow intro or something.

My son’s in first grade and there is a classmate whose mom carries him everywhere. She’s petite and he’s not a peanut; his feet dangle past her knees. She carries him from the bus, she carries him to the bus, he sits on top of her on the bus. I thought maybe he had some kind of mobility challenge but them I saw him at…

“He would even unclip my nursing bra for me and say, ‘Thank you, mommy,’ afterward.”

To Iranian President Rouhani: PLEASE LET ME DRIVE THIS FERRARI F12 OR YOU WILL SUFFER CONSEQUENCES THE LIKES OF WHICH FEW THROUGHOUT HISTORY HAVE EVER SUFFERED BEFORE, NOT EVEN CLASSIC JAGUAR OWNERS. WE ARE NO LONGER A COUNTRY THAT WILL STAND FOR THE MIDDLE EAST HOARDING OVERPOWERED RWD CARS. BE CAUTIOUS AND KEEP…