Jeb: Derek, I don’t know where to go from here. How did we get to this place?

So now we’re supposed to get dressed up and try hard? Fuck that.

What’s with all the stories today about athletes being unable to finish without help?

That was my favorite fairy tale when I was a kid.

Everyone knows that the Bible should be taken absolutely literally and given strict interpretation except for the parts that don’t fit your narrative. I’ve heard some pretty bizarre and convoluted interpretations of things like “Thou shalt not kill” and “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone”. One person…

“And the Lord sayeth unto him; Judge not lest ye be judged. Unless that bitch is poor in which case fuck her she probably deserves it. Let us not forget the parable of the slut and the government… For it is the government’s primary duty to punish those who we deem as irresponsible with their vagina’s and life choices.…

People have tried moving against Floyd, but has anyone tried not moving?

Clearly his technique of standing flatfooted, in one place while telegraphing huge, looping hooks is going to do well against one of the most technical, defensive fighters in history.

“Nah, caffeine pills will do.” -NBC Standards and Practices

They’re going to need a wider X-axis if Jesus Montero ever gets back to the Majors.

Speed gets taken for granted until you really, really need it.

I am getting a THE MENTALIST vibe from this.

Perhaps we are looking at this thing from the wrong angle. For a moment, go ahead and squeeze all of your muscles so your soul squirts out of your nose. There. Now you are a killer. Now you are the business prophet. Your mother approaches you and all you can see is a complex diagram of revenue and cost. It’s trying to…

Perhaps we are looking at this thing from the wrong angle. For a moment, go ahead and squeeze all of your muscles so your soul squirts out of your nose. There. Now you are a killer. Now you are the business prophet. Your mother approaches you and all you can see is a complex diagram of revenue and cost. It’s trying to…

Once again, this sparkles when read in a Gilbert Gottfried voice.

ZMF demands a royalty.

It doesn’t say 1.5 win season either giant.

He said nothing about wins.

THAT’S HILARIOUS MAN OMGLOLOLOL