Oh I meant that I am an asshole in that I grew up in the South and hate half-assed fake accents done by people who assume there's just one generic Southern accent, as opposed to a million different ones actual Southerners can hear and discern from each other. However, you make a good point!

That's not the worst of tapeworms. With some kinds of tapeworms, their larvae will leave the intestines and end up as a cysticercosis in various parts of the body. You can end up with them in you brain, your eyes, just about anywhere.

*pushes glasses up on nose*

As a 16 year old lifeguard I once got hit on my a man his 40's...the super creepy part? He hit on me thinking I was YOUNGER than I was. Like in the middle of creeping on me he stopped and said "You're like 14, right?"

This reminds me of something that happened when I was in nursing school. I'd been in school for like, 3 minutes, and my group was in our OB clinical. A young woman (19-20) walks up to the desk and says her water broke, maybe an hour earlier, and her contractions were like 15+ min apart. The nurse at the desk handed…

What. I'm sorry but WHAT.

Something similar happened to me, except they had me train my replacement. They offered me a promotion and asked if I could train my replacement because nobody had any idea how to do my job. I spent nearly a month training him, and the day after I said 'ya know, I think he's pretty good right now but I'll still be…

Oh man, similar thing happened to me. Only I had been on vacation for a week, and my replacement wasn't at my desk, she was still in orientation. But I'd seen them interviewing. I'd hoped very much that the help I had asked for over the past two years was finally being hired, but nope.

This story comes, as do most of my better ones, from my time working at Space Camp. I was working an adult weeklong camp during the off season and it came to the time of week when the campers participated in their extended mission which was eight hours long. I was working the SpaceHab area which is the self contained…

A couple of the strange (and gross) things I witnessed at the last magazine I worked at:

YES OH MY GOD WHY DO THEY THINK THEY HAVE A DOME. I once had an elderly gentleman take down my name so he could complain I guest relations about how I wouldn't fix the rain for him.

This happened to me too! I'd been working at a boutique for about a month and showed up for work one day. My boss was sitting on the bench outside but didn't catch me as I walked into the store as she had intended. So I saw my replacement standing behind the counter looking terrified of me, and I stood there…

I work with teenagers. These are actual things that I have had to say in the last 7 weeks:

Like legit zipped in and everything. It's terrifying.

Things I have experienced as a Disney cast member:

This is actually my dad's story but it's a family favorite that always gets trotted out at holidays and parties.

My boss sat the entire company down one morning in the boardroom for a very important meeting.

Last month I walked into work one day and my replacement was sitting at my desk.

Actually, dicephalia (having two heads) is a rare but super interesting mutation that happens to almost every species on earth. I imagine it's harder to find examples of it in marine animals since the young born with two heads often die, but go into any weird medical museum or bizarre curiosity shop and you're sure to…

KFC is what you settle for when Popeye's is closed AND they've put a padlock on their dumpster.