And you’re not allowed to open carry within a certain perimeter of the actual convention. So the politicians who are all for letting anyone have a gun are not ok with those guns actually being near them. So what does that tell you?

I just yell at my boyfriend a la Jed Bartlett. “Just be wrong. Just stand there in your wrongness and be wrong and get used to it.”

And then they went out with the firemen because they were looking for good men and as the guys were leaving they were talking about not telling Rachel and Monica and Phoebe they were married!

My mother always told me that you never ask a woman if she’s pregnant. Never. Don’t even imply that she might be pregnant unless she brings it up or she’s literally holding a baby in her arms.

I’m not married, but my boyfriend and I have been living together fro two years and now whenever we go out with his friends (all married) they ask us when we’re getting engaged, because I’m getting older and don’t we want kids?

My boyfriend and I were like “Let’s go catch Pokemon!” Took two steps into the Louisiana heat, looked at each other and said “fuck it- Netflix it is!”

I have to say- the caviar argument and also the foie gras seem like problems for a very distinct segment of the population (not me, who makes special trips to the store because Frosted Flakes are buy one get one free and I’m poor as shit)

Dachshunds? I grew up with those dogs and, with almost superhuman they can be very well socialized with other dogs but my god those are aggressive little fuckers. Don’t get me wrong, I love them, but damn. My brother’s dachshund tries to start shit with my dog when I bring her home to visit- she’s a 50 pound pit-boxer…

I was walking my overly-friendly boxer mix the other day and she bent down to a fence to greet two little dachshunds who were freaking out. I pulled her away because they were not friendly and one of the dachshunds slid through the bars of the fence (clearly practiced) and attacked my dog.