God: hey kill ur son lol

Of course mattress stores are doing more to assist people than Joel Olsteen is. Mattress stores actually sell something tangible and useful.

Here’s the flooding near me:

This Onion article remains as true as ever: http://www.theonion.com/article/everyone-involved-in-pizzas-preparation-delivery-p-504

He’d walk on water and GTFO of Texas.

“I’m not a Nazi, I just try to implicate their enemies in imaginary crimes!”

Wait a second, is this Soos?

I don’t think I could come up with a better name for an anthropomorphic cartoon rat if I tried, to be honest.

Sir, I believe the cops call that corruption of a minor not “dating”

That sounds like a lot of farts a’brewing.

Sooner than that if you are Jay. 25 sec mark.

Finally, something we have in common!

Pedantic response: The article mentions that British ciders ferment longer which results in a higher ABV. This is incorrect. Alcohol content is determined by the amount of sugar in whatever you are fermenting, the type of yeast being used, the temperature it is being fermented at, and oxygen levels. For the most part…

I’m clearly no Taylor Swift fan, but I do hope she sues the fuck out of Breitbart.

Spoilers in the headline? What the fuck? Can’t I refresh the reviews page without getting spoiled so heavily? I just wanted to check the letter grade before diving into the episode, and now... well, it won’t be quite as fun, will it, Emily?

A comment system that lets you read others’ comments and easily interact with them? Preposterous.

Is there a plugin for preventing triple-posting ?

No downvoting possible. It’s a direct affront to masochists.

Run away!

I’m just here to complain.