Imagine all the Jez posts were proofread!

John LEGEND’S “Imagine”?

Of course no mention or article of the Amber Heard audio from a month ago painting her as the abuser. Just going to ignore all of that because it doesn’t fit the narrative being pushed here.

Aren’t there apparently recordings of her abusing him or are they fake? I haven’t Heard them yet, so I sadly can’t bring about internet justice. Do either of them have Covid-19 yet?

My butt feels refreshed watching this.

I’m hearing the brass part from Can’t Take My Eyes Off Of You playing in my head, for reasons of it sounding more jubilant. I have a few more errands to run today, like, you know, an adult, but damn me if I’m not getting piss-drunk tonight to celebrate. As you said: Couldn’t have happened to a more deserving guy.

Naomi is not right about this. Medical experts have consistently said there’s no point wearing a mask unless you’re already ill and are trying to stop it spreading to others. The virus is spread via direct contact, not surfaces.

I’ve changed it to Covidfefe.

One of the most memorable incidents was in jail intake. It’s kind of a triage where we screen for immediate medical needs, health history, drug withdrawals, suicide risk, etc, so we go through a whole list of questions.

Right.  What a gift. This motherfucker.

The service desk people are damn heros for doing that job. Much respect to you. 

omg lol I currently work for this company and I wanna shoot myself every damn day on the job

I worked in a cubicle hell type open office, and a coworker used to stash her dirty plates and silverware inside her largest desk drawer. She’d eat breakfast and lunch at her desk, in between running out to appointments, and she would only wash her dishes every 2 weeks or so. So the big file drawer in her desk only ser…

Good grief. I’m sorry right back. 

Oh damn, I bet you’ve seen stuff some of us couldn’t even imagine. Major hats off to you for doing what you do.

I'm sorry I forgot to clarify: it was on VHS. 

*This is a heavy story, it might need a trigger warning*

That’s absolutely horrifying, made all the worse by the fact that said porn was “grainy.” 

I walked in on my 68-year-old college advisor jerking off to grainy Middle Eastern porn once.

I work in the hospice industry and a call bell rung from an ornery patient while his nurse was attending a death in another room. She raced in as quickly as she could and he reached in his adult brief, scooped up a handful of shit and flung it at her head. In my years of working as a hospice secretary, I’ve ever seen…