Given the DC area traffic, JG probably went straight from the stadium to Ashburn

to be fair, 5am is when you have to leave to get to Ashburn by start of business

Sounds like a pretty good way to start the week.

we can collectively as an organization to turn things around and give our Redskins fans and alumni a team they can be proud of in 2019 and beyond.

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say Deadspin doesn't closely monitor the Twitter account of "Danny".

This will be Burfict’s 14th suspension in his NFL career, and his third for an illegal hit.

Why the choice to center-align the entire press release?  Especially for such a serious message?  Seems really cartoonish.

If spearing a stationary player that is down on one knee directly in the head with the top of your helmet is not egregious, would anything short of going Last Boy Scout and shooting a player in the middle of a play be egregious?

No, the punishment doesn’t fit the crime. The punishment fits because it’s fitting both this crime and all the other incredibly dangerous similar crimes he’s gone out of his way to commit on the field over the past decade. You get one DUI, you get a year in jail. If it’s your sixth one, the judge isn’t going to be…

This will be Burfict’s 14th suspension in his NFL career, and his third for an illegal hit. After his ejection, the Raiders captain ran off the field blowing kisses to the booing crowd.

Remember when everyone thought she was too incompetent to be Vice President? Now she could easily replace Trump and we would probably be better off. 

Eight years ago we all thought Sarah was the most dysfunctional and absurd thing that would ever happen to politics in the United States. Things are now so bad that I can’t even remember what it is she (and hubby) got up to.

Jeez, is there anything this broad won’t quit?

I feel like Spooky Helena will become a lot like Indian Spice Chetna, though. Paul will get really tired of her pulling out the spooky every week and start ignoring her cleverness.

I was so worried that Jamie would stick around another week because of how considerably awful Amelia was. I was DREADING another week with the dudebro who should’ve been kicked last week.

*Takes a subtle jab and at someone who legitimately got suspended for using drugs to enhance ability*

Rolled my eyes so hard I saw my own brain.

SNEAK *PEEK, YOU’RE A FUCKING NEWSPAPER

“You should be tolerant of my intolerance!”