Note that you're willing to be an organ donor as many places as possible, like

The poor family and that poor girl.

Yes. Especially for the 2 year old. Children's bodies absorb alcohol more quickly then adults, have a much smaller body mass, and their small livers are not able to process the alcohol. One shot of alcohol to a 120 lb adult is more like 6 shots to a 25 lb toddler. The child could experience confusion, difficulty…

I guess I don't understand how you knew he would be a better fit before you even got involved with him, unless your old boyfriend kind of sucked. You say you were invested in him, so were you totally surprised when you met your husband, or did you have an inkling that you were settling? I didn't know if my husband was…

That's fine if you want to jump from relationship to relationship for the rest of your life. Eventually though, all these relationships will end up at the "fine, comfortable, and working" stage because contrary to what you've said, no one fits together perfectly. Most people learn to live with that, sit with their…

"Yea. That was a setup for a punchline on duct tape."

To me, Nicki Minaj is to black feminists what Lena Dunham is to white feminists. Both women pride themselves on female empowerment but they're problematic as fuck and you can make an argument that neither of them are role models that feminists should look up to. Nicki has a history of being an awful, offensive person…

My mom had lunch (when she was 7 months pregnant, high risk pregnancy too) with the woman my dad was cheating on her with. She asked her to please leave the situation and let her and my dad finish the pregnancy. My mom told her, if they split up after that, whatever. What's done is done.

If you're worried because you think he's bad for her, well, yeah, she's dating a married guy. That's kind of her fucking cross to shoulder if those are the choices she's going to make.

They probably are hitting on him. My husband is more attractive than I am - or was, we're both old now and that has been a looks equalizer... - and I've had women not only directly proposition him in front of me, but also refer to me in their propositions, as in "Why have that when you can have this?". So, some women…

>>Are you sure they're hitting on him, and not just relieved to be able to talk to a man who probably won't hit on them?<<

You're basically absolving your friend of any blame for being a shitty person.

It seems like an incredibly first-world view of the illness that the big consequence is re-starting her wedding plans. There's a lot of people in West Africa who got Ebola who are never making wedding plans from scratch.

It just keeps getting worse? Christ, Cosmo, your priorities...

Agreed. Non-violent offenders sentenced to short terms typically don't benefit from prison, and that goes for male offenders as well.

And to be fair, the State of Alabama was formed to work slaves to death.

Face it, they're right.

Ya know, the least horny I have every been in my life was after the STI/safe sex lesson.

Irresponsibility sex education? Oh, you mean what you're "teaching" children? "Don't have sex and that's all you need to know" is clearly not working, otherwise they wouldn't be going to P.P. in the first place. Two of my friends, who teach science, are BANNED from teaching sex-ed by the parents. They're just…

Billy, I hate to nitpick, but I have a problem with the headline. The phrase "insane, masturbatory rampage" should be "insane masturbatory rampage." You shouldn't use a comma when the last adjective outranks its predecessor and is an integral part of the noun phrase. In this case, the rampage is not both insane…