Wrap a corn cob in a wet towel and stuff it under your kitchen sink for a few months and I bet you'll get something similar.

As far as Kylie is concerned, I'd argue that her "toned down" way of promoting herself is exactly why she is only popular in Australia and some of Europe. Her appeal is not one I would refer to as universal. Conversely, Australia is going to lose their collective shit when Madonna finally announces her tour dates and…

I'm sensing you were in a...bad mood Mark?

Mark, she is a pop singer. Any pop singer's main goal should be to have their music reach as many people as possible. What the fuck else is she supposed to do? Air it on MTV, which no longer airs music videos? As for the "slow news day" comment - that is dumb and thoughtless. This premier date has been set for a…

I'm gonna be THAT person—

Idiot thinks that a teen girl with a grown man is totes cool. That girl was just a meany to this modern day Romeo.

Want some more rope?

That poor pedophile :(

Give me the name of your therapist.

Fuck this 25-year-old who fucked a 17-year-old girl, taped it without her consent, and put it on the internet. Forgive those of us who are such horrible people that we don't for sorry for this particular shit stain.

Yup. Better hide yo' dick!

I am 80% sure that she's a troll. No one who reads Jezebel can possibly not realize how much of a self-important, entitled jerk they sound like writing these things. Unironically.

That's some hostility right there.

I wasn't aware they treated leprosy with monogrammed thermoses.

Well good for you......you want a cookie?

And yet you still don't have respect for your fellow humans.

You can't even spell "Sierra Leone" and you expect us to believe you volunteered to go there? Yeah, right.

OK all these volunteer experiences prove is that you've never needed to work to support yourself.

You should have a monogrammed thermos. Doing good things and being a good person are two different things. Servers don't get paid minimum wage. They live on tips.