Oh, my god, yes. If “how you are” is a miserable asshole, and “just telling the truth” means treating other people like shit, I want nothing to do with you.

An ex invited me to a show she was DJing that began at 1 in the morning. As in, I would leave my house at 12am, and one hour after midnight IT WOULD START. Girl no, I am waaaaaaay to 30 for that shit.

Being around people who use rudeness or unkindness as an excuse of “being honest” or “that’s just how I am and you have to accept it.” Calmly taking aim with the bullshit-o-meter and shutting that shit DOWN, without raising my voice, my blood pressure, or much more than an eyebrow.

- Caring whether a bar or a restaurant is cool.

I’m too old to put up with shitty male behavior. I’m sorry, I’ve just had it. The catcalling, the violence, the entitlement, the leaving the seat up, all of it. If you can’t behave like a decent human being, you can get the fuck out.

How to start your day like Mocena:

Only Kristen Stewart, the consummate actress, has the range and expressiveness to co-star in the next cerebral and urbane Woody Allen masterpiece.

FUCKING AMANDLA STENBERG FOR PRESIDENT OF EVERYTHING

this is a cunty fucking comment.

Squawky.

I wish. I’ve had pretty great luck with men but that guy was a real piece of work. I did tell him his ostrich skin cowboy boots that he’d just paid $800 for were fake. He was Danish but super into Texas culture, so I think that hurt him more than a wangpunch.

I was in eighth grade and mister king of junior high says to me “I know who you are you’re like the most popular girl of all the like unpopular people.”

“You move a lot better than most cripples I’ve seen with your condition. Good on you for toughin’ it out and not gettin’ a wheelchair. You should be proud of how strong you are.”

“But I’m offering you such a great salary... for a girl.”

The moment I meet my very short, balding blind date, he skips the introductions to say this: