Exactly. Fake and vaguely bitter and medicinal.

All of these alcoholic seltzers taste so gross, I’d rather be sober. The alcohol base plus fruity flavors make the seltzer taste like melted drink ice combined with the dregs of a rancid Mike’s Hard Cranberry Lemonade. I’d rather have vodka and a LaCroix or Polar.

They would.

What kind of demented end stage of capitalism are we in that has Circle K doing a promotion with cops, whom taxpayers fund?

These things are a rip-off of Dammit Dolls, which, while wack, do not come in a Golliwog color scheme.

No, it’s not like that, it’s dumber and less tricky.

Of additional note, university spokesman Rod Guajardo admitted that the photo is offensive, but “did not present a violation of the university’s code of conduct” since it “occurred off-campus and was not part of a university-affiliated event.”

You don’t have a teacher/professor union at the college level

I was going to bet your real dad wishes he had skeeted on your mom’s unwashed legs or into the chewing tobacco spit cup that she keeps beside her bed just in case your ex-stepdaddy stops by on his way home from his shift at the gas station

“I’m a 71-year-old woman who lives in Raleigh,” Goodman said on camera. “I suffer from tremendous anxiety.”

Maybe you don’t give a fuck, but experience (and reading lots of yelp) has showed me that many establishments actually care quite a bit about what people write on yelp. They don’t like yelp because poor ratings are effective at turning people away from a business. You don’t have to give a shit, but I’d give you a…

The customer does get to vote, with their dollars and their voices on Yelp.

shut the fuck up, tomato

When someone’s stealing your shit, that’s a good reason to call the cops.

Worst case in one direction, you don’t get a beer. Worst case in the other direction, the bar is shut down and the server goes to jail.

Trying to pretend that this is all part of your carefully constructed booby trap to own the libs is just pathetic at this point

The customer isn’t the one who take the L.

When you’re a legal adult, THERE ARE NO RAMIFICATIONS. You go into a bar expected to be served, and you should be.

Ah, I get it. I figured it meant duplicate but didn’t understand what that would matter.