Who the fuck doesn’t want more ham in the sandwich they’re about to enjoy?

Right on!

a YEAR AND A HALF????!!!!

Tom’s grip on his wineglass makes me uncomfortable.

This is satire, right?

Or maybe, and stay with me here, it’s going to get complicated... They don’t write for you???

trooooooooooooll

Fewer side effects.

It’s not a demographic. Women and men of all ages, shapes, sizes, colors, and backgrounds find beards attractive. Just, apparently, none of the women you know.

It’s almost as if... people have different preferences? Are you with me?

what

I think I know! It has bonito flakes on it. Bonito flakes are so thin and light, they flutter in the tiniest breeze.

OMG I sing “Just Around the River Bend” just about every goddamned time I shower.

Shia surprise!

Her eyes are freaking me out for some reason.

He’s channeling Robin Thicke here and I don’t like it.

OK?

About as appetizing as the semi-spoiled excretions of a bovine :P

You are disgusting on so many levels.