@SuicidalEarthworm: If you throw yourself against the wall... [www.youtube.com]

@KingKellogg the Waffle Haggler: either that upright pallet has massive hitpoints or

@billysan: not supposed to cut/shoot self.

@comrade_leviathan: A tin foil covered pile of circuits... my bet is on the cheap hp plastic. it could crack and still work while the other bends and impales the screen every time its closed :P

@AnnoyinAssassin: its either Kotaku with minecraft, or Gizmodo and apple. your choice.

@CommodoreRake: electro gonorrhea the noisy killer

@Archaotic: put him in a crushing machine so it would be like he died inside a transformers video game....

@SkeletorDan: If the Internet is your drug, the ISP is your dealer.

They are obviously upgrading to Facebook ISP, where you will be required to login to your broadband with a facebook login and update your profile picture daily to keep service.

@hello.gillian: HEY! i only have one cat!

@sam4sb: I would shun anyone who gets one.

@DPeezy: yes, with a giant lighter.

@stre: lets keep throwing sports statistics at each other till we all agree that all the other people's teams suck.

@Arken: sounds like a B-of-A Visa-logo'd bank card?

@P3nnst8r: F U Eagles: I'm not gona cook it but i'll order it from ZANZABAR!!

@theimmc: alternate 2 words of fear for the same location: love shack.

@dpilkerton: thank you, i needed that laugh tonight. a heartclick for making me feel so much better.

@Liam - Spartacus!: simple. if you leave your dishes out on the sink and mom doesn't clean them tonight, they will still be there tomorrow morning.

@TheFu: my localhost is also a webserver, i don't need facebook 404's showing in my webstats.

@jglavin: if you have enough time in the morning to add the word "iced" to your starbucks drivethrough order, then you have enough time to go in and make it your way in a separate cup of ice.