@KalamataInterrobang: "You're that guy from that thing, right? That thing about those guys...my little sister is nuts over that thing, vampires right, but like sparkly or some shit? Oh and that other thing with those other guys...what's it called with that kid who was in that play where he fucked a horse? What was…

@morninggloria: Will there be a basement in the Alamo this time?

The Twilight movies are coming your way

Wait, is "Escada, the struggling fashion house" the same Escada that makes perfumes? I had no idea they were in trouble. I hope they stay afloat, Escada is the only perfume I wear, I have about 5 different bottles of it at home, it smells heavenly.

"How exactly am I supposed to fit you into my purse and carry you around?"

The US team for synchronized running has their first practice. Jack Donaghy would be so proud.

@Fate'sBitch: Dammit! Lose - as in I lose at commenting.

I love his new single "I'm Like A Hare With The Way I Always Loose The Race (Me and Carrots)"

@Ailatan Hearts BabyJane: I still love her, I'll never let her go.

Keira Knightley in Pirates of the Caribbean III: The Curse of the Pegged Jeans.

Fat people! They're everywhere! Hide your children and your candy!

And she was so exited about that prescription shampoo.

Jack Donaghy would not approve. Remember, your hair is your headsuit.

When I saw the trailer for this the other day I thought it was a fake trailer (like in Forgetting Sarah Marshall or Tropic Thunder) it just looked so overblown and DRAMATIC! I thought it was funny. Now I feel kind of bad about that.

Tut, Tut, looks like lame.

@dissolver: Plus, how do you need a man to give you attention on tour? Won't you have hundreds of people cheering for you every night. I don't know if I believe this one, I'm not a huge Lilly Allen fan, but she's never come off as especially needy.

Hot tub adventures sounds a direct to DVD American Pie sequel. American Pie 14: The Hut Tub Adventures...At Band Camp; It's British This Time.

Now see, if only Joan of Arc had worn this she would have beaten that "burned at the stake for wearing pants rap"

@Jello Mix: Or something that doesn't give anyone over a B the dreaded 4-boob.

Somewhere Lisa Frank is pulling out her Pink and Green Markers adding a polar bear and dolphin and crying out "COMPLETED!"