There is really no one else who can do this who isn't his mother? There's like 6 billion people on the planet, outsource that shit.

Alice, on her way home from the worst tea party ever, wonders the best way to ditch the Mad Hatter and the Dormouse.

@Fate'sBitch: any manner of doors, I miss the preview button.

Joel Madden also has the hipster required, prison guard set of keys jangling loudly from his hip. just so everyone knows that you are IMPORTANT and can UNLOCK any many of doors, at any moment.

Oh no, I was really looking forward to Parks & Recreation. My mom does some work for local government and it's a comedy goldmine,the stories she tells about the people she has to deal with are really bizarre.

Oh Jeremy Davies, how do I love thee, let me count the ways...

@afiunderground: I'll admit I kind of like the show. I think he comes off as rather endearing on it, it's one of those things where if I'm flipping through the channels and nothing else is on I'll watch it. But I I've been to website like twice, so I don't know about his or it's history in any great detail.

"Lolita meets old Hollywood Glam" What the hell does that even mean, Lolita as in Lolita by Nabokov? If Katy Perry has ever read that book I will go out buy a hat and eat it. Bitch please.

Actress gets lost on her way to a Marlboro shoot.

Day-Glo no no

Hey Forever 21, Eighth circle of hell has some nice pits set aside for thieves and falsifiers. It doesn't seem pretty or fun down there, so maybe do some reading up on this Christianity thing that you seem so fond of.

@CloudsInMyCoffee: I had a dream the other night where I was dating Daniel Faraday! but he was slowly going crazy (not in a fun sexy way) while simultaneously my landlord was kicking me out of my apartment, but instead of telling me that I was getting kicked out she just started showing people around, and I'm like…

I have never had this popular need to go to the bathroom, but can't find a bathroom dream, but now I am convinced it's what I'm going to be dreaming about for the rest of this week.

Oh Madonna and Jesus, Oedipus says what?

@aubonpam: Know that you are not alone.

@ellaesther: As a vegetarian who loves potlucks (and hates PETA) I apologize and welcome over to my house any time for Boca Burgers, chicken wings and Arrested Development DVD's. I can only hope this first step will help to bridge the divide.

@BellaNotte: That's what I was thinking! Or Leto Atreides half on his way to becoming a full sand worm.

@gangey: I'm surprisingly ok with it, plus it is like always on sale.

It just seems like way to much socializing for me, I don't want to have to come home from work every day and deal with all of my neighbors (even if I didn't have to cook), plus the planning, shopping and organizing that would be needed. I need my alone time, crack open a can of progresso and I'm fine for the night,…

"Hey babe, we're just gonna get in the car and drive, man. DRIVE. Get away from this town, my pop. I ain't working in no pretzel factory, I got dreams, babe, DREAMS. My bands gonna make it big man, I know it, let's just go, get outta this town, this town filled with all these stupid red sticks, those ain't flowers…