Why stop there? Why not offer them a mattress filled with bedbugs and a DVD of the 2010 and 2011 World Series?

Better luck next yeareaux

On one hand, i guess it sucks.

I think they are afraid Chelsea is going to announce his signing:

Serious question: Do home runs count if you hit them off the Mets?

HamNo, your prizefighting articles are by far the greatest thing Deadspin produces these days. Great article as always.

I don’t think you can argue that Ward didn’t have any low blows — that said, Tony Weeks certainly was of the opinion that Kovalev was milking every “borderline” shot he could, whether or not he truly…

Why is the top photo from their game against Penn State?

Yeah, because since we have a great women’s team, nobody should be able to talk about the men’s team at all since they aren’t as good.

Who pissed in your cereal this morning?

Oh please Jason, we all know you’re the one delaying the Virtual Console on purpose.

Patrick, you’re my favorite Deadspin writer. But headline fail when you also write:

I have two kids. I love my kids.

Billy didn’t write a single word about St. Totteringham’s day. If you’re foolish enough to think that he didn’t write about Spurs annihilations lately because it’s inconsequential, then you must be a gooner.

How many spots did they move up with those 13 goals?

And the stakes of their last two games were....?

he did hit him, but i mean, that is the universal sign for fastball inside corner as well...

It’s wrong yes but it happens and he should work on it to correct it. I will admit it was always a go to insult for men who are now in our 30's-40's etc.

It’s probably LaVar Ball you idiot

He wasn’t puking, Billy.

the facelift actually looks pretty nice. good job ford.