If you knew how little the MTA actually cares about safety...

Nope. The Conductor operates the doors, deals with dispatch/police/passenger issues and ultimately has the final say on when to leave a station. On the subways the “operator” is called a Motorman, on all other types of trains they are called Engineers.

Ranch and Fritos are actually really good. I’m guess you could probably do some sort of tex-mex thing. Maybe a chili?

Some of these comments are true comedy. If you are dumb and arrogant enough to poison the world even more with your progeny, you should at least be smart enough not to haul them around in a 100k+ minivan.

I knew it had to be you that wrote this article, David!

Aww, that’s too bad. It was the freshest popcorn ever. He/she didn’t even plug in the machine until you bought a ticket.

CAN SOMEONE ELSE PLEASE COMMENT ON THE PRICE IS RIGHT TODAY????????

They’ve done a few nice things around the area, particularly on the water side.

I realize that pigeons are annoying and shitty (literally) birds, but this is poor form Gabe. This kid seems like he’d be just old enough to remember this reinforced behavior later in life.

I don’t understand how you could give this episode a B-. At best it deserves a D+. If fact, if you look at the season as a whole, there really shouldn’t be anything over a C+. It has been brutal. I mean I get that every show every season has some sketches that are duds, but this episode didn’t have one that even made…

I just wanted to be a part of the 69 somehow.

So... Kanye is his trainer?

It’s that damn Arizona Iced Tea, I tell ya’.

Shart Tank Season Duece.

Jagermeister has a racing team?!? Holy shit. Time to update the resume.

I was looking for the Tesla charging station in the photos. I like it!

Clearly the guy just got the news about Grumpy Cat. Understandable.

A UTI? What a pussy!