This one is my submission. The takeaway here is, always Google the weirdly sexual but sort of clever ones (esp. If they reference painting you green and spanking you like a naughty avocado)

Yup. Was gonna say I got this exact same thing. He's not funny, he's a dude who googles "pick up lines"

And here's the one with a goat included:

This email has been floating around for years. I got it years ago, almost word for word. It was stupid then too.

This looks like something that was copy pasted from a PUA forum, and not the worst I've seen. http://onlinedatingshenanigans.tumblr.com has all the really choice ones.

I guess this guy was trying to be funny, or...?

The same kind of person who would use "You let yourself go," to describe anything other than the release of a balloon with your face on it.

I'm writing a song, made especially for Tinder guys like this!

The worst part about this message is that it's a pretty recycled and well-known copy/paste. Aside from the part where it left out buying a goat.

He lost me at "falling pregnant." Who says that?

That's Pumpkin Spiced Latte season you're thinking of. Common error.

Yes, prior to that we could only measure using Barbie Dolls and tubes of mascara.

Probably some innuendo about yeast infections.

I think you mean Drunk Hobo "Costume."

Then what will they do to compensate for their shitty flavourless bread? o.O

There was one time when he set out to troll and inadvertently came up with the majority opinion on the article. There were all these people agreeing with him; I assume he was very confused.

I've had a long running tradition of using a "Drunk Hobo" costume every year, and will not change.

Just trying to compensate for their too-small "footlongs"

Just trying to compensate for their too-small "footlongs" by shifting the shittiness to the ladies. Classic, I guess.