Religious conservatives believe she should have only been eligible for the doubles championship at this year’s Australian Open.

You’d think that Sean Spicer would be too busy to coach a basketball team.

Re: Brock Holt - anyone with that last name should be known as Steve Holt!

It seems to me that Stephen Colbert makes up for anything bad Northwestern has produced. If not, the combination of Colbert and Julia Louis-Dreyfus must be good enough.

FINALLY! It’s the combination of Katy Perry and the Allegory of the Cave we’ve all been clamoring for.

I love Norm, but I can’t watch that clip without being fixated on his Trump-sized hands.

Sackmann should be SO proud - I didn’t expect someone like him to produce a stat like BHP that is actually useful.

Peekaboo!

Human physiology has an East Cost bias.

“imagine one hundred million swimming Ryan Lochtes repeating the word “jeah” for several hours.”

hmm...something other than interesting.

This is tremendous.

Sometimes the obvious solution is the best solution - they should just throw footballs at the trunk until the tree falls over.

hmm...interesting.

Brace yourself: the jokes here in the comment section are all going to be baad.

Flawless delivery.

This article may not attract enough comments because the headline is tough to beat.

Here’s hoping we finally get Jezebel’s take on the Lovely Ladies team.

Schwarber: “Hey, can I play left field?”

I look forward to returning to this page in a couple of hours in order to invest the remainder of my day in excellence.