This app shifts the balance of power too much. Jocks will be able to give swirlies and wedgies with impunity.

You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.

I wonder if this is just reverse psychology - they think that if we’re convinced that Native Americans have accepted that name, we’ll just take the name away from them.

“Now I can crank my own junk with success” sounds like something that Balki Bartokomous would have said. Which makes it even better.

I prefer my salad “Chopped”, though.

Glad you tossed the salad.

*fart noise*

Also, you can’t spell “John Lackey” without “cankle.”

Be careful, Christian. An anagram for “John Lackey” is “ A Joke Lynch”.

No list of guys that I remember is complete without Tom Gugliotta. I apologize for the omission.

Frank Brickowski.

You beat me to it. The amount of money you’d need to spend on a harp and the uniqueness of the instrument make it so that almost no one owns one or knows how to play one. You can’t easily transfer skills learned from playing the harp to any other instrument. The harp is never just part of a band - it’s always the…

The harp.

This promotion was a misguided effort to satisfy Aroldis Chapman’s fans who continue to beg for the return of the Red Rocket.

I should be pleased to be part of a demographic that is worthy of acknowledgment. But I’m just too irritable to muster that.

The dogwalker’s dog couldn’t have been on “the space of grass between the sidewalk and the curb” - they said that there are no sidewalks in the neighborhood. I guess the angry neighbor was suggesting that the dog do its business in the street?