Pregnant, but they accidentally put a horse embryo inside of her surrogate. 

*i understood that reference gif*

Oh but according to that anonymous NFL cheerleader total lack of editing/touching up “felt cruel” when it was done once because you could see bruises and stubble.

As a photo retoucher myself, this video doesn’t show heavy retouching. Retouching is a delicate process that can take hours for each individual image. (Retouching may have been done earlier, in the individual portrait files; that is not shown.) It is primarily showing the process of selecting, masking, and compositing…

I think the “Taylor is the Devil” contingent has all left. 

Ladies and Gents, I present to you, Bernie Sanders: The King of (the deservedly defunct) Gawker and Splinter.

No, he throws these verbal bombs because he’s an asshole. There are plenty of people with mental illness who don’t act like an asshole.

I am convinced the majority of celebrity “relationships” are for PR and I’m shocked (well, not that shocked) at how people eat them up.

Exactly. I had my first one last year. I did it willingly and without complaint, but I admit I figured I’d wake up feeling a little sore. Nothing at all.

I told my wife and she was like, “You’re a fucking idiot.”

I know it’s Jezebel’s thing to be all edgy and whatnot, but Ryan Reynolds should be applauded for streaming his colonoscopy, not made fun of. Younger people are being diagnosed with colon cancer at alarming rates (my husband was 34 - he’s thankfully cancer free now) and anything that encourages people to get their…

My first thought, too. The longer this goes on and the older Leo gets, the worse the publicity looks. Bet his agent got on his ass to find a woman, any woman, over 25. And Leo, being Leo, pretty much adhered as close to the letter of the law as he could.

She was so gorgeous...now she looks like an alien. 

I used to think it was DNA. Now I realize she and Kris have the same plastic surgeon. Copy and paste. 

“Elizabeth became a Girl Guide, a British corollary to Girl Scouts (without the cookies).”

I wonder if Donald Trump will offer to the royal family a plot at his Scotish Golf course.

During a week full of VFF and DWD/Spitgate... astonishing that this was approved for publication. Maybe it’s a bid for Kim to buy G/O?

The fuck is up with that title? The article is supportive at least but seriously... the fuck is with that borderline sarcastic tone and condescending tagline:

Thank you for helping my dumb self realize this article is satire. XD

Congrats to Jez for playing their part in the bullying!

Yeah there was definitely no one else...