So this must be why the rest of America hates Miami?!

The Jordan/Kasparov scenario is awesome. I think Jordan would win. The thing with them both being in their primes is that since chess is an intellectual game, Gary Kasparov would be older. Jordan in his prime would be just about 28. I'm not sure when Kasparov would be in his prime, but I'm guessing he would be a bit…

The funniest things I see with the last few updates Apple have pushed out is the amount of things they've done that Android already had. I don't mean this to troll Apple, or to keep beating a dead horse (we get it, Android had notifications before Apple), but it brings up the point that all major platforms have their…

Not if you have a warranty with Squaretrade.

Leon: The Professional. I saw that movie at 5, and I could not grasp the concept of a 'good guy' dying in a movie. That fucked me up for sure. I didn't get over it for a while. It killed a bit of my innocence.

I'm not sure about you, but I've gone to the movies quite a bit on Christmas day. The day might start out loaded, and there might even be a big dinner, but dinners like that around our family usually happen early since there's so much cooking and dishes, I don't think anyone ever wants to be doing any of those things.…

Yeah, both were annoying. It's as if he's never played a game before...or the game mechanics were so off, the game plays terribly. I'd go with the former. This video was nerve racking.

I wonder the percentage of human beings on the planet that would know what that means. Spoken out exactly how it's written here. I'd guess less than 1%.

Funny summer reading recommendation DUAN.

Can I just get a star for the sake of getting a star while I can still get a star here at Deadspin? I just want to be able to tell my kids I had a star at Deadspin. No doubt I'll lie and say I was witty in how I earned it, but that won't matter to you guys by that time.

If there is a city that deserves the ups and downs that the Heat have had this postseason, it's Miami. Boy, we sure do lose confidence easily. The problem with the city is lack of history. I really hope that these precious years we have with the Big 3 teach the city something, but I doubt it'll stay with them. It's…

Well, it sucks if you really need a computer now. I guess the best thing to do would be to buy cheap now, and get the best this fall. If your machine is still kicking and alive, it's a bit easier to wait. It's like buying a new smartphone, except magnified, since good laptops cost twice as much as premium smartphones,…

I haven't watched much of the Western finals besides the last minutes of a couple fourth quarters. But if the Heat were to lose here, I wouldn't watch the Finals that much either. Whereas if they're in it, I'm watching every second, most likely. Of course, that's common sense, but I still want to know the numbers.

I hate college ball, so I'm not forgetting it. But I hear ya. Sounds like a good day to me. College football on the other hand would also be great. The problem is I don't think west coast bars would ever show a UM game unless they're ranked as a top 15 and playing against another top 25. Or if it's the primetime game…

You know what I'd like to know? The ratings on sports by region. Like, when your city/area team is out of the playoffs, what the viewership in your area is like. So when the Bulls got eliminated, what the numbers were compared to what they were while the team was in it.

Is there any reason the NBA insists on starting at 8:30? I mean, I understand waiting for Eastern primetime at 8:00, but pushing it back 30 minutes is brutal. And I'm not even old. I swear, being a West Coast sports fan must be pure fun. Waking up at 10:00 and watching football until 4:00, at which point you still…

I'm guessing the people paying for this is parents who have teenage boys or the like. Or older men who are not very computer literate but do use the computer for various pleasures. Even if they haven't looked at child porn, the shock of the virus taking over their screens and asking for the money would be enough to…

The advertisement for Blood Money was him doing a bunch of cool killing that he didn't do in the game, like a chick in a bathtub with the words "Shockingly Executed" written on the ad. There was another one with a supermodel type chick killed somehow with the words "Beautifully Executed". I wouldn't read too much into…

You can also drop a piano on the girl.

Exactly. Thanks for the article guys, but the people who complained about that seemed to have never played a Hitman game. Hitman has never been about being perfect. It's about doing what you want. I never played a single Hitman level once. The point is to try to do your best the first time, but also knowing that…