“C...O...G...and we love spelling, don’t we folks? The vowels and the continents and the big, big words. And I know words, probably better than dictionaries. In fact, I had a dictionary doctor tell me once that they thought I should’ve become a dictionary since I knew such good word spelling. And I had a word come up…

Listen. If you fill a nice, clean kiddie pool with cool, clear water, knowing that one of your kids is eventually going to ingest some of that water while they’re playing, and then that kid takes a fucking shit in the pool, guess what. The water is ruined. You can’t just be like, “Hey, now! It’s only the poop that’s…

Kinda-sorta-related? Mostly, I’m happy to have an excuse to link this.

Who in the actual FUCK ungreyed you?

Huzzah! I’m cool again!

Can’t wait for Louis the Alligator to address me by name and tell me he’s going to marry my dad.

Dude, maybe we should start with only letting the real Dr Emilio Lizardo play Dr Emilio Lizardo here.

Rossi allegedly wrote to D’Elia, ‘I’m 21 now and [down to f***].’ His reps say D’Elia didn’t respond to her.”

I truly enjoyed this scientific exchange of ideas.  I feel inspired to think more for myself about “how things work.”  

Nope. Jesus intervenes right at the end.

I assume it’s via the usual method of decelerating gradually rather than impacting the ground at high speed?

Reading that was like reading a term paper that was fumbling to hit the required word count.

unfairly reductive

BONG

I’ve never seen King of Kong, or anything where this dude actually speaks. I’ve only seen the picture of him smirking at the camera and this one. I’ve only seen his stupid-ass ties.

Why is this being made a thing?

That’s odd. I would have expected there to be more P in the list of Trump transgressions.

Given Tesla’s quality control issues, I’m assuming this was merely an opportunity for Musk to disappoint two women at once.

Fuck yourself with a cattle prod, shit for brains.

Shocked to see Chris D’Elia has been accused of being a comedian.