Well, right. . . for now. In two years, we’ll have Episode 9, at which point there will presumably be resolution to Episode 8. If you stopped watching the films at Empire, you’d probably think, “Damn, things turned pretty crappy for our heroes.”

I cannot surmise my outrage in mere writing! Here, have my vocal response!

I ruined my step-kids’ viewing of the special a few years ago, when I pointed out that the elf in the sleigh at the end straight up murdered the bird who couldn’t fly.

In other words, a lot of stuff happened and the story progressed, but it doesn’t conform to your headcanon (“the one from ROTJ would not behave this way”; “she didn’t learn anything”; “Kylo is ... a giant man-baby”). Then you exaggerate again:

No, I was trying to imitate downplaying a lot of character and plot development. There was a lot of development in both Empire Strikes Back and The Last Jedi.

He’s like a sunfish. Their teeth all fuse together into one beak-like structure. Also, they’re extremely stupid and utterly worthless.

Intresting study in dental diversity. Cruz has dozens of little lamprey teeth while the other guy appears to have one single solid tooth, as though his upper and lower mandibles have fused into one enamel plate.

I dont want to get into the whole “JJ and Rian didnt work together on the story” bit because that seems muddy right now but..

Disagree that either Snoke as a character or Rey’s background were actually set up as a mystery in TFA... it’s more the internet that made them so. (Seems fair to say that JJ probably did see Snoke being more involved in 8 and 9 and not cut down early though.)

“We are talking about an unlikable politician with policy ideas you disagree with not Darth Vader.”

Yeah, I feel like maybe we aren’t understanding each other.

I have to say, Leia coming back was my favourite moment in the whole film. I got a lump in my throat. I don’t understand the criticisms of it. 1) The physics make sense. She is weightless in space, so even a slight force pull would be enough to pull herself to the ship. 2) Yes, we never saw her learn Jedi skills, but…

“a love action version”

To be fair, all sci-fi gets laser blasters wrong. The laser would be traveling at light speed which is obviously too fast to see it moving in the first place.

I disagree: at the start of the film, he only cares about Rey; it’s clear he’d abandon the Resistance for her if it came to it. By the end, with that “Rebel scum” line (I damn near cheered in the theatre), he’s committed to the cause, far more than he was at the end of episode VII.

But why would she have to explain her plan to a subordinate?

The only thing missing is an appearance by Pit Pat at the end.

Is “Uncarrier” the same as how in the 90's 7UP called itself “the Uncola,” despite all evidence confirming that it is, empirically, a cola?

He’s hip, he’s cool...

Where is Hedy Lamarr in this? Shouldn’t she be mentioned here?