I think the traditional marriage system is destructive, and children are often brought into this insane mechanism only to be pawns in a money game. Every single time I see a wedding-based article, I promise I WILL make a negative comment.

I can't believe it. I mean, this article is entirely satire, right? Who could possibly give half a crap about celeb relationships

For Christ's sake, can kotaku PLEASE stop with this wedding worship, it's absolutely atrocious. At least HALF of marriages end in divorce, think of all the children that are subjected to emotional abuse, WHY do people think this is a good thing??? STOP IT.

Yeah I see that now but it's still strangely worded

"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck you guys?" Are you saying that to Rihanna, because one thing I learned from Jezebel is you shouldn't victim blame. But fuck CB and fuck his awful mother

Do people actually care about celeb marriages, or are you guys being blisteringly sarcastic? I couldn't imagine giving a crap unless there is some wacky scandal, or perhaps a divorce theme party with wacky costumes and a pinata

TV still exists?

So you're saying they didn't offer crass responses? Were they not being honest?

Aren't they supposed to offer how the story made them feel as a reader? Even if it's a crass response, who is the audience of the story supposed to be? Wouldn't you want honest insight so you could confirm or adjust your story accordingly? If someone is brave enough to put their story out there into a class, they…

So he exposed her identity?

These are EXTREMELY hot. All women should wear hosiery all the time. Men too? Why the hell not.

Way back when, men wore tights. Why not now?? Some silly modern gender based rules that should be SMASHED DESTROY KABOOM BURN BURN BURNN

I was trying to convey cynicism, but yes I agree

Please don't ever encourage anyone to have children.

Sounds like a fantastic opportunity for a real would-be kidnapper to get away scott free.

I'm fine with being alone forever.

Shouldn't let material possessions weigh you down, but I suppose it would make for a cool coffin

Screw repubs for trying to co-opt us shoe fetishists and us guys that don't understand women.

Why the hell are they laying flat like that, are they supposed to be dead? They look as if they are ready to be sliced up and eaten