ESPN needs to add a "domestic violence incidents" column next to bye week so I can keep my fantasy line up together.

"promptly referred"

Look, Penn State, we know you're awful. Okay? We know. You can let us focus on Rice and Goodell for a couple days. Don't be jealous. It doesn't mean we've moved you down a peg on the list of terrible people.

Don't be an asshole. He was just highlighting the differences in the situations. Like how the camera was able to "testify" against Rice, whereas Lewis was able to murder his witness. I mean, he's right, the situations aren't comparable.

Ray Lewis: There is no comparison of me and Ray Rice. I'm far more similar to Aaron Hernandez.

I totally believe the theory that he thought he was leaving 20%. I have no doubts this is what actually happened.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but does he also have a picture of a box of cereal on his shirt?

10 bucks says the NFL declares this illegal next year.

What happened to you?

Oh god, this comment - which clearly misses the entire point of the piece as self-parody - has 147 likes.

See what I mean? Commenting going to shit. No mention at all of how far can I punt a football. F minus.

Chess players are ATHLETES? LMAO. Get the fuck out of my face with that garbage.

a picture of Shaw, shortly after USC vetted him

Wherever these selfies were taken it is very windy.

Thanks for looking it up. I always found that kind of strange about Piazza. He clearly had the green light if he wanted it, and he wasn't even an elite (non-BA-driven) OBP guy, averaging like 65 walks per 162. Yet, he barely ever swung the bat 3-0. Just kind weird. I'm all for OBP and walks, but counter-intuitively,…

I can't wait for the excuses sportswriters will make when they induct David Ortiz into the HOF before Bonds.

A copy of Uggla's contract.

Baseball's unwritten rules are ridiculous. Imagine if you showed up an hour early for work to YOUR job? You would be a hero! Instead, Uggla was suspended. He should file some kinda grievance or something.

Currently, he has the third-worst WAR for a position player between the ages of the 33 and 34 in the modern era

After reaching first base, Pujols fired an imaginary arrow at Hamilton, which struck him in the chest and put him on the 60 day DL