I love how you said “yes, the audio company”even though no one knows who Becker is

Wait. You are telling me that people put music playing devices into their automobiles to interrupt the joyous sound of the engine revving to red line, the terrified sound of the passenger screaming, the angry sound of other drivers cursing and honking, and the shrieking sound of pedestrians as you tear past them?

Double-tap if you ever had this setup in your car.

“SWALLOWED A PEN BECAUSE NO ONE PAID ATTENTION TO HIM”

*cough cough*

Hehehehe, dicktation.

She’s much too old for him.

“There comes a time in any relationship when you just have to say ‘Fuck it’, say goodbye and move on. This is my time! I am quitting to pursue my dream of not having to work here.”

Could have also used paper towels to dry off. I know a guy practicing his throws for just this chance.

Brilliant! Now I see our strategy for stopping their missile tests.

Can I just get a job in the Jalopnik peanut gallery already?

When can you start?

I don’t care for the aftermarket headlights.

Pretty sure it was a male driver since they tried to use a burnout to impress a bunch of strangers and then lost control.

Minor edit, but this “the driver’s Porsche lost control”

I generally agree, but I find it rather strange that the letter never once mentions how his/her fiancée feels about this situation considering that this is her sister. We know the LW feels the sister is a user and a nightmare and would rather she not come at all if she insists on bringing her children with her, but…

Slightly on-topic: the most hilarious thing I’ve ever seen while driving was when I was stopped at a red light. The woman in the car next to me casually tossed a lit cigarette butt out the window of her car while talking on the cell phone. A chill, Jimmy Buffet- looking dude who was crossing the street in front of us…

Sued by DOJ for refusing to rent to black people, ultimately settling the case (despite “never settling”), then sued and settles again for failing to live up to original settlement.

If only the windshield washer sprayed golden showers