I have a gambling card! Its for wynn in vegas. FLashing it around there gets you the no line to the buffet deal. I have lost maybe 200 dollars gambling my entire casino life. I have lost far more than that misplacing cash when i have to carry it to go clubbing. 

e xcept the clothes are wanted, so they don’t grow up with a feeling abandonment as they cycle through many foster homes. 

Theres a lot of money to be made at every stop of that illegal ivory trade from entering the park to the tea powder.

Green hatch with brown interior? Loving it

Big production just to be petty you say? I am in! Time and date: i’ll be there. Script or adlib?

There is a pre-interview test in the interview room where in they leave a picture of a family on the desk while the interviewee is alone and if the person doesn’t lick it they terminate the interview before it started because they know all they need to know. They give him a promotion if he rubs his bare butt on the…

The garlic fake butter in papa john’s pizza is the cum of gods, and now i think they may be actual cum

Trump: “he is a good friend of mine. Very smart, one of the smartest, cheeseburgers are good”

trumpian logic

Lauri Makkanen is in trouble then.

Start with the college entry requirements please

it's a british obsession wit h knockout gas. it was an urban legend from the 80's. damn it brits... that shit doesn't happen. 

then he punches himself in the nose for weeping like a weak person. 

a friend from out of town had a cyclocross race in Sacramento and arrived with one of the riders sick. so he asked me to apply for a license, gave me a jersey and r aced for him. i was going to get lapped by the field by 20 minutes in if i wasn't yanked my the r ace marshall. "pro athlete"

how about the equivalent of 80 bucks for a monthly salary?

conspiracy theory alert!

The only way to make a car safer is to put sharp breakable pieces of glass 7 inches away from your face

we can hope

lets hope kimi puts a sterling drive that makes it sooooooo awkward for ferrari to team order him behind vettel. they will though, everything to please vettel

i think this is why i will never warm up to vettel. he had no problem taking advantage of team orders when it suits him, and no problem ignoring it when it suits him, hence the “that’s one german who couldn’t say he was just following orders” comment from coulthard. and he always sounded persecuted, like hamilton,…