Now I'm picturing Vince Vaughn as Frodo and Jon Favreau as Samwise

Eddie shouldn't be twice Roland's size (Vince Vaughn is a fucking Giant is what I'm saying)

Let's take a look at that first sentence again. And I'll try not to have my head explode with incredulity, I promise.

Leading off with our world is such a bad idea I don't even know where to begin. Roland's world is supposed to be the primary setting for the series, this isn't Alice in Wonderland or The Matrix or something.

That's Clue # 1 the filmmakers don't know what the hell they're doing. In the novels Roland lets innocent bystanders die (including children) in situations where it might jeopardize his quest to enter the tower. They even have characters speculate that Roland doesn't give a shit about setting the multiverse back in…

He was cast there for a while when The Fault in Our Stars guy was gonna direct it.

I think that Timothy Olyphant could make a pretty good Stu Redman these days. That character needs some inherent charisma so readers/viewers aren't left wondering time and time again "Why does everybody keep putting this boring guy in charge?"

Where are these racists you speak of? 5 people on Twitter and 30 people on Reddit don't really matter much in the general consensus, do they?

Be prepared for some cognitive dissonance when skin color plays a fairly prominent role in Drawing of the Three. It might actually be hilarious to think of Detta Walker's character calling Idris Elba a "Honky Mafah"

Should have just made the Violent Western this always should have been. Even as a stand alone film The Gunslinger novel is a perfect movie adaptation, just set piece after set piece followed by a conversation between Hero and Villain where the Villain reveals the cosmic battle they are actually locked into for eons….

Sometimes being entertaining DOES count for something, BB. And also it's supposed to be shocking, King is building Roland up as an unlikeable killing machine to subvert our expectations later in the series.

Also I read a synopsis that says "Roland has been searching for The Man-in-Black for years in an attempt to avenge the murder of his father (Dennis Haysbert)"

I also hate how they've pretty much gutted the meat of The Drawing of the Three and The Waste Lands with Jake and Roland in New York stuff. There should be NO hanging out in "our" world in the first Dark Tower story, that completely undermines our introduction into In-World/Mid-World/Out-World/End-World

What kills me is how all of the flaws in the original novel (episodic, weirdly violent, kinda sparse and devoid of a lot of characterization beyond "stoic killer cowboy") would play as strengths in a film adaptation.

That's great if you care about food…

Those better be pot cookies or else it's just not gonna work.

I read this with the Malcolm in the Middle theme song playing in my head.

Although giving Robin's suit a "Half Mast" Stiffie was vetoed by Warner Brothers….

Ron Howard gets a pass for being a child actor that recognized VERY early on that if he didn't get cracking on a secondary career in Hollywood he'd be managing a Wendy's by the end of his 20's. If he was lucky. And hey, he turned out to not be terrible, always a plus.

He's probably one of those guys with the personal charm to convince producers and studio execs that he has the perfect take on the material and won't rock the boat too hard if he's working with an existing outline. There's a reason you always hear about how difficult acclaimed writers and filmmakers are to work with:…