if one crazy can’t bet out another crazy, he will join the crazy.

“Carson? Great guy. Sleeps like a baby—a strong baby. A patriot baby. Can we do better though? Absolutely. I will outsleep Carson in my sleep. Great guy tho.”

it’s obvious why he’s doing this:

I’m beginning to this all these pols endorsing him are suffering from Stockholm Syndrome.

I went with Prime Dad, eh. Great minds (and Canadian ones) think alike.

Prime Dad, eh?

He trembles nervously, his stomach a spiral of fear and longing. Will she accept me this time? Will she let me take her slowly, gently at first and then as the passion between us lights a thousand flames, harder and faster until we both collapse in sweaty relief? He goes in -

BRB writing presidential self-insertion fan-fiction right this fucking second

not only that. Look at the white hot sexuality between these two kids.

On the other hand...

She got a glimpse into its cold, dead future.

Why does she hate America?

On the other hand

BLAM! There goes the other ovary.

How is this not considered a weapon of mass destruction??? I am just laying on my floor, rolling around and groaning from how overwhelming this is. I can’t. I CAN’T.

Yeah man, why don’t minorities HELP white people retell their stories? That’s just rude.

Cool, cool. Wait till they find out about Myspace.

The Jacksonville mom maintained she has the right to shoot anyone who threatens her and her family — and she’s teaching her kids to do the same.

Kim isn’t Kanye, and since she was happy to be seen in public with Amber to me that was a pretty clear indication she wasn’t endorsing his words.