The person filing for divorce from him is Angelina Jolie, which is the opposite of losing.

Had no idea Kirk Cousins was an RGIII.

I, too, jerk off left handed when I’m in the middle of nowhere.

It’s a story as old as America:

Pshaw, she barely gets the whole tip in there.

You should probably get your mingo checked.

The ending of the poop story legit made me laugh.

No, no, the Jezzies have spoken and this kid was playing with a gun.

I’m afraid of mountain lions but I’m not so stupid that I would run from one.

Close to being a piece of shit? Yes, yes you are.

Somebody better tell Trump this guy loves the cock.

Nice try but you’re talking to people who have already made up their minds about law enforcement.

She does have a huge mouth.

“Kill” a black woman? Oh, child.

$1.9 mil is not enough.

We know you think that anyone who disagrees with the verdict does so because they are racist.

I’m a glass half-full kinda guy, so when i think about the drought here in California, I think about how I let my lawn die three years ago and I haven’t mowed or had to fix a sprinkler since.

Shut up, bigot.

Yes, becuase population growth isn’t the greatest threat to our future outside of global warming.

You tell your brother YOU DON’T FUCKING CHANGE FOOTBALL TEAMS JUST BECAUSE YOU MOVE.