Shots fired! Justifiably.

To expound on points 5, 8 and 9 (optics of black church strong on lecherous, decrepit male leadership and short on male soldiers in the Lord’s army in the pews; professionalism and punctiliousness of gospel artist performers; Chernobyl toxic eulogy by Rev. Jasper Williams)....

OK, I had to jump to the comments to stop dying from laughing that they think Bill Clinton can be held to five minutes for remarks! That is NEVER happening! He alone will bump this thing thirty minutes off at the very least. I will resume reading this schedule in awe.

The pews are finna be littered with peppermint and strawberry hard candy wrappers. 

Ahhhh... I used to love Tresor.

Stevie Wonder’s the perfect person to close. Especially if his performance is anything like his appearance at Michael Jackson’s funeral.

This is the one thing Patti Labelle has in common with Trump —getting banned from a funeral.

Right? And Sarah Palin’s up in AK just sucking her teeth.

There’s also Rick Snyder, the asshole who won’t do anything about Flint. I hope people throw their garbage at him, all due respect to Aretha, but this man should not be welcome to any black event.

This is the blackest famous black man funeral EVERRRRRRRRRRRRR

Damn. Shes really getting pretty much 2 whole ass church services for her funeral. My grandmas funeral (R.I.P) back in November lasted a total of about 3 hours. From the church and eulogy by the pastor to everyone meeting up at Roscoe’s down from where shes buried in Inglewood. Thats all you really need.

But if you’re going to this here funeral in person, well, I hope you have allof the snacks and make sure to bring plenty of water because while the service is already scheduled to be as long as the Easter Sunday service at a southern Baptist church with a new pastor trying to prove himself (9:30 a.m. to 3 p.m.), I’d…

Chaka Khan has 5 minutes? She has runs longer than 5 minutes. On accident. Ask Rufus.

to be as long as the Easter Sunday service at a southern Baptist church with a new pastor trying to prove himself

Well, Whitney Houston already had her funeral, so they get the gist.  At least Soledad O’Brien won’t be as surprised the 2nd time around.

Who made this schedule! LOL And I bet they gave somebody’s granddaughter the job to tell all these GROWN folks to stay on schedule cause you know that’s how black people do...

Shit, an’t no damned body getting out of there before 8pm at the earliest. And if the Spirit moves, not before midnight and god help anyone who has to leave for anything other then a short -really- short bathroom break.

This schedule is bananas!!! Bill Clinton has never spoken for only 5 minutes in his life and he’s on the JV team of gasbags speaking. Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton get 9 & 5 minutes to speak? Puh-leeze!! This thing could last a couple of days.

I hope the white people invited to this funeral are prepared for black church.  

This is beyond ambitious. Is all of this live? The only way to pull this off is via a rotating theatre.