When this Black man put on a tuxedo dress, it caused my wife to leave me and my dog to run away. Also, I’m pretty sure that I’m gay now. Thanks Obama.

Every picture you see of him with the heads of state who have always been enemies of America like North Korea and Saudi Arabia, those heads of state are always smiling like a sideshow carny finding a mark who doesn’t know that the bottles are nailed down.

Gotta wonder if there will be more than just a Korean translator in the room this week.  We know lil’ Kim knows English much better than Trump knows his own language. 

This man has been alone in a room making deals with the likes of Putin and Kim Jong Un and I don’t think we’re going to know just how awful those deals were until it’s way past too late.

“... and in other news, scientists report that just killing yourself now reduces your risk of heart attack and stroke by 100%!”

If you whipped around gelatin and maltodextrin long enough you might get something like a marshmallow.

Besides water, I kinda feel like 12 cans of anything a day is going to fuck you up eventually.

he is a woman over 50

Based on the women over 50 I’ve been around who drink diet coke, I really doubt a causal relationship, as opposed to it being that the type of women over 50 who drink diet coke are also the women over 50 who have many other factors that are leading them to be more likely to have a stroke or heart attack.

I am a huge diet soda drinker but I literally cannot imagine drinking 12 cans of soda a day... Not that I don’t believe you. My SO’s roommate in college drank so much regular soda that he stopped peeing because he messed up his kidneys so bad. I wish I knew more about why/what happened but it’s lost to time. 

There’s nothing inherently wrong with something being artificial and natural sugar isn’t exactly great for your health. So I’m genuinely curious to see a comparison between those who drink regular soda regularly and those who drink diet soda.

Nihilism is a pretty decent marketing plan.

This is a sales strategy by Coke to target Millennials.

Which is literally the Diet Coke marketing right now!

Stevia isn’t an artificial sweetener though. It’s made from a plant and it’s awful. 

I watched this over the weekend and was rather surprised by the obsession with how charming he was. He wasn’t meeting these women in bars and inviting them back to his place after hours of drunken flirtation. He was literally pretending to be injured and asking for their help carrying stuff to his car or whatever,…

The only people I know who have ever intervened are women. Men will pretend that “protecting the women” is part of their masculinity trip but really most of them are cowards.

I had no miscarriages and I would have been terrified to intervene at 7 mos pregnant.  You did what you could safely do in that situation.  If people could not be garbage humans, it would really be great. 

You tagged this “Los Angeles” rather than merely “Assholery in modern urban life” so I offer an anecdotal counterpoint. Onlookers in Los Angeles can also be very good Samaritans!

If Jezebel becomes the daily Blow Job for Bernie, like Gawker was in 2016; I’m out.