Dammit. Michigan is not sending us their best people...

worth about $28,940.72

As a child, I had a small but well-curated Beanie Baby collection. I’d been informed by the budding capitalists in my third grade class that Tuffy the Terrier and my Princess Diana bear would be worth millions by the time I grew up.

“Their house is not your storage locker and if you really cared about your possessions, you’d have brought them with you ...”

He apparently moved out of their house after a domestic violence call. This makes the rest of his behavior less surprising to me. 

haha i’d love to be the judge in that case, looking at an itemized list of films and sex toys. to be honest i’ve always envied people who can speak openly about their pornography without shame cause by now there’s no denying it’s extremely widespread, for example the usage stats pornhub has released showing that red…

$28,000 worth of porn? Jesus, his hand must look like the claw in an arcade prize machine.

If you are an adult and leave something behind at your parents’ house without an explicit agreement that they’ll store it for you indefinitely, you can’t be mad if they end up throwing it away. Their house is not your storage locker and if you really cared about your possessions, you’d have brought them with you or…

I feel like, if you’ve dropped $30k on porn, you’ve got some pretty specialist preferences. Leaving that shit for your poor parents to look after is your own damn fault. This dude is a wanker in more ways than one.

if you dislike them, you’re perfectly welcome to stop clicking on articles about them and going a step further and actually commenting on those articles. I like what I like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

If the British press is anything like my mom, Harry and Meghan are going to be paying for this perfectly reasonable position for YEARS.

I admit it is a low low low bar these days but this was a hella refreshing ACTUAL apology. 

Soooo many reasons to take digs at Tori Spelling but this ain’t it.

People who say “kiddos” are pure monsters.

lol i can’t believe i just pretended my kids only eat these muffins in moderation. 

Everything in moderation, my kids love these muffins. It’s fine. It’s all fine. 

I listened to him on Howard Stern and he talked brilliantly about his dad and other black men serving in Vietnam and the politics of it. He makes sense of the historical discrimination these men faced as well as the total pointlessness of the action by the U.S. He could teach a class.

YES! It’s the-thing-snoop-did-which-will-never-be-spoken.

Glad he was OK with it, because being unwittingly dosed can be fucking terrifying, even if it's just THC.