“If the gum is Bubblicious, it ain’t suspicious”

“If there was no bubble, he’s not in trouble!”

“If the gum transferred the spit, you must acquit.”

Before I deleted my account I would always ask women the same thing: "So do you want to hear a ridiculous pick-up line or should we skip the awkward stuff."

I thought the same thing about Belichick, but then had a thought during ESPN's postgame when they were talking about how disorganized Seattle looked before the play, with Lynch and Baldwin moving all around the formation before the snap. (NOTE: The following probably gives way, way too much credence to the "Belichick…

all of them. He took his Lipitor.

You guys can't stop watching a lot of stuff around here lately. Hope everything is okay.

'Who ordered the "flamingly brotastic yarmulke"?'

I'm sure you also know the one little secret that's driving doctors crazy, too.

You're full of shit, is what I'm saying. Or you'd nut up and post it.

Defense: "And that object could have been anything. It could've been an iPad. It could've been an iPhone. It could've been a remote. Anything."

Accomplice: Ok Aaron, in and out, no evidence. We hit the target, and leave.

Not to mention, he'll be getting a 4 game suspension.

Look, I know you only had 30 seconds, but I really feel as though you didn't spend enough time establishing a believable narrative.

I was wondering which offbeat commercial Will Ferrell would show up in.

Too bad this would never work for the Falllllllllllcons.

I think the real question is: Why are you in dentist's offices "all the time"?

Love how he tries to keep the blocks in-play, aiming them at teammates, rather than doing the dumb Dwight Howard move of launching them into the rafters.