That's nothing, over on WFAN John Sterling thought that it was a home run.

For clarification, we were like six years old! Just so everybody knows that.

I remember playing high school ball and taking a knee to the helmet. Lost all peripheral vision and actually gave away my cleats to a teammate who asked to pass him some water. Concussions are scary things, especially to those experiencing them. You know something's wrong, but "mind over matter" doesn't quite work…

"Now who's going to slice?!?!"

In twenty years, Deadspin will run a series of articles about how Major League Baseball didn't do enough to prevent fan concussions and will blame the current commissioner, Godger Rodell.

So I know that the forums here are supposed to be funny, but: fuck this guy.

Things did get awkward during one meeting when Mitchell mentioned that he was a split end. The book club then spent the next 45 minutes recommending various shampoos and salons.

"Don't draft this guy."

my best friend's sister-in-law makes $77 /hour selling cocaine to Ryan Malone. She has been unemployed for 6 months but last month her income was $20874 just selling bags of cocaine to a semi-conscious amnesiac Ryan Malone every day

You'd think a hockey player would keep better track of which line he was on.

JUMANJI GOES THE DYNAMITE

Depression is a nasty nasty bug. I myself have been diagnosed with it after years of subtle indicators that there may be some underlying mental health issue with me. I am actually currently typing on Ambien in preparation for sleep so forgive for any non clear points. My addition to this discussion is that depression…

To steal what someone else said on another message board: Technically, suicide is a selfish act. However, people who are clinically depressed to the point where they're seriously considering suicide aren't capable of thinking rationally about such things.

See, when I took my shirt off for a kid's popcorn it was illegal. This is bullshit.

Even though she pitched a shutout, she did get hit six times, so after the game she apologized to Stephen A. for putting herself in that situation.

If anyone is an authority on dickishness, it's the penis wearing a backwards hat, completely unbuttoned giveaway green jersey, baby blue crew, and fucking sweatshorts out in public.

TELL US ABOUT THE TIME YOU READ A DEADSPIN ARTICLE ABOUT GETTING BLOCKED BY A SPORTS PERSONALITY AND THEN WENT AND ACTIVELY TRIED TO GET BLOCKED BY A SPORTS PERSONALITY

LaRussa: Oh, come on! Who cares if it was 95 miles per hour?! It was placed in a safe spot.

Technically, all MLB players are previously unnamed until birth, and sometimes until several days afterwards.

Y'all are getting Gawker in my Deadspin. FOH